“Another World Is Possible,” Global Justice movement rally. Photo by Eliot Katz


Would Trump’s Wall Perform Magic Tricks?

Trump says a wall of concrete or steel slats has to be built
along the U.S.-Mexico border for national security,
so I am wondering what magic tricks it would perform:
Could the wall tell that I have picked a jack of clubs
out of my deck of blue-striped playing cards?
Would the wall rain newborn rabbits down from a hat
on its highest point?
Could the wall read Trump’s sociopathic mind and stop his
pathological lying?
Would the wall prevent Zeta Reticulis from piloting flying
saucers across national boundaries?
If the wall could really protect our security, would it draw down CO2
and methane to reverse climate change?
Will it find thousands of lost children kidnapped by Homeland Security
from Central American parents?
Could it do something to make Trump’s skin look more human?
Would it safely melt the world’s nuclear missiles and power plants
and drink up radioactive plutonium shakes?
Could it ferment tofu into tempeh? Find missing prophetic notebooks
of William Blake?
Would concrete or steel slats improve global free-speech protection?
Could a wall provide medical treatments for sick kids whose parents
cannot afford a doctor?
Will it stop another meteor from destroying Earth’s large-sized life again?
Can it bring back even one recently extinct species?
Could it prevent the monthly flooding and power outages
in my home town of Hoboken?
Would it create a new Israeli/Palestinian peace plan without having
to wait for Jared Kushner to finish his schooling?
Could the wall compete against the best magicians on America’s Got Talent?
Will it prevent the healthiest apple polyphenol dust from leaving our country?
Can it send more young progressives like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
into Congress?
Could it fix the broken zipper on my winter jacket? Filter out the lead in
too many U.S. water supplies? Find a cure for chronic Lyme disease?
Would the wall offer a good resting pillow for the necks of zebras?
Could it patch potholes? Stabilize bridges? Fix electric grids?
Prevent ransom computer viruses from spreading across the web?
Would the wall prevent Trump from ripping up any more peace treaties?
Okay, I just picked a new card. Wall, can you tell me what it is?


Trump Releases a Paper with His Ukrainian Crimes

Thinking he would be exonerating himself, Trump released a summary
of a phone conversation he called “perfect” with the Ukrainian president
in which Trump illegally requests foreign help to dig up dirt
on the son of one of his potential 2020 electoral opponents.
The summary is classic mob boss-speak:
we’ve been good to your people and now I am asking you
a favor if you want more help—find me dirt on Bidens!
Even if you have to make it up!
Is Trump losing his nerve or his mind?
Does he always resort to mob-speak in a panic,
finding himself losing badly in the polls? A panic noticed so clearly
by key aides that his extortion conversation was quickly locked up
in a top-secret server in a buried concrete vault. Having committed
a large wrestling ring’s worth of constitutional and human rights crimes,
does Trump harbor an unconscious desire to get impeached and convicted—
able to rationalize a return to his lazier landlord overseer life? And why the hell
is New York’s former mayor, Giuliani, undertaking Ukraine shakedowns
for Trump? What old secret NYC campaign favors does the mayor owe?
Days later, Trump demands the right to meet his accuser despite
whistleblower protection laws, and promises Big Consequences!–as well
the crazier threat of an actual civil war. It is he who released
the evidence-filled phone call summary to the press! Look in the mirror,
Mr. President! Your accuser is there, staring into a pair of sociopathic eyes.

Whose Side Is God On?

In an attempt to keep his evangelical Christian voters, Donald
Trump says that Joe Biden winning the presidency would hurt God.
Do evangelical voters really believe that a 77-year-old guy
obviously past his physical prime could injure a being they
consider omniscient and omnipotent? What did Trump’s
evangelical voters think of Trump’s implying such divine weakness,
or when he had peaceful protesters across the street from the White House
teargassed and hit with batons so that Trump could stroll over and hold up
a bible upside-down in front of an historic church? Does God
approve of teargassing peaceful protesters or of a sociopathic
politician holding up a bible that wasn’t even his own for a quick
publicity photo? As Trump argues for the risk of fraud when it comes
to mail-in voting, except in Florida where he knows he will need the mail-in
votes of Republican seniors, would God vote in person, if she
or he could, during a highly contagious pandemic? Advice columnist,
Jean Carroll, has just won a New York court case allowing her
to proceed with her civil suit against Trump for rape—do religious
Christians really believe that Jesus would approve of a candidate
accused by dozens of women of a range of sexual assaults from self-admitted
groping to rape? Everything I’ve read in the Old and New Testaments,
from the Golden Rule to Jesus’s preaching of compassion and mercy, argues
against the malicious selfishness of Trumpian far-right-wing policies,
whether economic, ecological, or racist; or when it comes to his desire to build
a new generation of Earth-destructive nukes. As a longtime activist and atheist,
I believe that I know what God would want better than most evangelicals,
and it sure as hell or no-hell isn’t Trump.


One Possible Trump Departure Speech

Dear cult followers: I know you had many different reasons for supporting me,
some more or less nice than others. I’m sorry I didn’t win. The election
was rigged. As much as we tried, we could not suppress or hack-flip enough votes
to bring us over the top. We were also unsuccessful in the courts at projecting
our tricks onto the Biden campaign. But don’t worry. On my way out, I will do
as much damage to the country as I possibly can.


Eliot Katz, 2020